I’m not really going to talk about the RPM 10 Record Player by Pro-Ject Audio Systems. I’m going to talk about what these record players stand for. The funny thing about the modern audiophile record player is the record player inevitably likes to display every piece and part of the machine as if it were crafted from gold. I, personally, find this aesthetic a bit ugly in its purity and spartanism. Each one of these record players has a base, a record plate, a tone arm, and needle, and a belt driven motor. Let’s start with the arm. Why can’t this ever be anything fun like it being in the actual shape of an arm?! Then, take the record plate. This plate is made to be massive and heavy to keep the speed of the record more consistent due to the inertia of this plate. This plate is often made of translucent glass or acrylic. Again, I don’t see why items couldn’t be embedded in the glass to give it some texture. All I want is a flourish of some kind! Is that too much to ask? But for you serious audiophiles, get out your high thread-count comforter, get out your precisely positioned Eames Lounge Chair that you paid an expert to find the sonic inflection point in your den, get out your velcro attached foam dampers, get out your 80 mil red virgin vinyl copy of Stereo Review’s Stereo Demonstration Record, and get out your checkbook because you are going to be paying around ten grand for one of these machines.

Maybe I watch too much crappy television? I don’t know. But, I was watching the Preview Channel - you know, the channel that scrolls the TV guide at the bottom while washed up child actors talk celebrity gossip- the other day when the woman on the show started barking on and on about Louis Vuitton’s $42,000 handbag. She, of course, mentioned how something so ugly could cost so much. Then I did some more digging and found that every blog on earth, including mine now, had blogged about it. Incidentally, I found it on Fashionator first. These blogs are fun, but I was more interested in this piece because it’s the first large fashion house to be swept up in a this recent patchwork micro-trend. The trend probably re-emerged at Burning Man, as many god awful (and wonderful) trends seem to do, but the first I had noticed it with someone who I would consider a top fashion designer was with Maison Martin Margiela. Martin Margiela’s work is so much more completely aesthetically thought-out compared to the Louis Vuitton piece, though. Shoot. I really wish I could continue, but I’ve got to go to work now. Expect this re-written by Monday.

When I see the Prada Phone it makes me sometimes wish that I had started a gadget blog, and I really knew my stuff and was super popular. Why? Well then I would somehow convince LG to give me one of these awesome phones! At least they look awesome… and they say Prada on it which, were I not married, I’m thinking would get me some play in the posher districts of San Francisco. Although I truly find the shape and materiality beautiful, and a cursory look at the user interface is encouraging, there are flaws with the phone. First, I do love to take pictures, but I refuse to have anything less than 5 megapixels. This phone has 2. Also, I can’t quite figure this out, but their website only features very little information. One thing that features prominently is the cheesy 5 ringtones that the phone offers. Who are they trying to impress with this? It’s almost like the designer of the site was like, ” Shit. we gotta fill this space with something. How ’bout ringtones?” Bad Move. Who over at Prada is really looking at their marketing devices?

Hey Prada! Can you hear me? Your use of Rem Koolhaas to design your flagship stores: I give an A+. Your crappy phone website: you might start thinking about slowly cashing your stock out.

I’ve been looking at Hastens beds for the past year or so ever since they started their latest media campaign in the design magazines. In this time frame, I’ve actually experienced one of these beds, and there is no doubt that they are unrivaled. Everything is wonderful about they way they feel. But when an everyday object like a bed costs nearly $60,000 I can’t be happy with the piece. I’m sorry but no! What really makes it cost that much? I went down to my local comfy bed store named McRoskey and found that, in fact, it takes a lot of work to make a really good bed. Their McRoskey Airflex beds, which are some of the best by the way, only cost about $10,000 ($5,000 for the mattress set) with all the bells and whistles included. So, what am I missing? There is a $50,000 deficit here. This is what I like to call the ripoff fee. This is the pure profit fee that this company is ripping you off for the honor of owning one of their beds… I could be full of shit, though. If anyone out there owns a Vividus and feel like they get every bit of their $60 grand out of the bed, then please let me know.

OK. Vertu is like an old-school Nokia cell phone from, like, 5 years ago given a nice packaging. Can someone tell me why this is worth over six thousand dollars, please? My first cell phone that has nearly the same technology as the Vertu cost me 20 dollars with a contract. I could have bought 320 of these phones for the same price as one racetrack series phone. And it’s not like you are going to slip in the same technology that a current 2007 smartphone has somehow. In other words: RICH PEOPLE! THIS PHONE IS A SCAM! If you want a really cool phone that is beautiful and will impress your other rich friends then wait a couple of months and get an iPhone by Apple. If you need diamonds on the phone, then get a local craftsman to add a few.

The racetrack series isn’t even  close to being the most expensive Vertu phone. They also make a diamond encrusted version that prices in the five digits. Let’s hope your cell phone company never drops this model.