15 July 2007
I just happened to notice this on Yahoo today, and I could not help but to put it on the blog. I present Bling H2O- the next best thing to selling luxury air is luxury water. The water is the brainchild of Kevin G. Boyd who is a Hollywood writer and producer (I’ll get to this later) who saw an increasing star battle over who had the most luxury water. He created Bling H20 to be the “Rolls Royce Phantom” of waters, as he puts it, to help facilitate the petty water war. I do not see this water in the same league with the Rolls Royce Phantom but rather a cheesy, gold encrusted lowrider. It’s kind of like shining shit: you can work really hard to make the shit look pretty, but in the end it’s still shit.
I have to admit that I like the frosted bottle, the Swarovski crystal logo, and even the form of the bottle is appealing. However, the price is sad. It cost fifty-five dollars a bottle for the limited edition bottles. That seems conspicuously attainable to me. If people were wanting to buy luxury water Bling H20 should make the price hundreds of dollars and have real craftspeople make the water and bottle. Instead, what Bling H20 has created is a product that anyone can buy. Which means I can afford it just as easily as the gawky, pimple faced teenage girl in the mall. What’s the fun of that? It does not, actually, create a culture of exclusivity which is the point of this brand (according to their own literature). What the price tag of fifty-five dollars actually creates is a product that is expensive enough to make people say “wow” but cheap enough not to question the product’s provenance. But the provenance needs to be looked at. The frosted bottle- is it a special bottle or is it just the typical 50 cent frosted bottle you can pick up wholesale. Are the Swarovski crystals actual glass? Who are putting these crystals on the bottles- sweatshop workers or well paid artisans? What do we really know about the water? Everything just smacks of a person trying to deal crack in the form of water.
And while we’re questioning the origins of the product itself, let’s think about the origins of its creator, Kevin G. Boyd. His career, from my look at IMDB, has not been terribly successful. He has written for the Jaime Foxx Show ten years ago, but since then has done very little in his career which leads me to wonder how he knows so much about celebrity water tastes. I’m wondering if during his one episode stint as a writer of “One on One” back in 2004 this experience has given him the true insight?
Regardless of the snake-oil-like feeling I get about this product, I should commend Bling H20 for a creating pretty good buzz.
Categories: $50-100 | Brand Crack | Glass | Houswares | Lust Factor: Cold | weird designs
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Comments:
July 25th, 2007 at 5:59 am
You bloggers are such haters! I read this guy, Kevin G. Boyd’s bio. upon further review… you failed to mention he has sold several tv pilots to major networks. UPN, FX and Disney. why dis him he’s obviously a creative guy or else he wouldn’t still be producing movies (2006 Near Mrs.) More power to the guy most people never follow thru with their ideas and he has. STOP THE NIT PICKING.. but then again blogging has never been an uplifting proposition. GO BLING H2O!
July 28th, 2007 at 12:26 am
That’s a very fair assessment. Here’s the deal: I’ve written a total of four negative reviews of products in a total of 500. I’ve noticed that the posts that get comments are the negative ones. Usually, I only get comments from people selling the product who only find my post through a vanity search. So, I guess what I’m getting at is don’t worry about my honest and possibly misled opinion. I know you don’t read my blog ever except for this one post, so just chill. If you get enough 14 year old girls drinking this product you won’t have to worry about one little old blog post because you will be rich.
August 8th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Steve Harvey interviewed Kevin G.Boyd on the “Steve Harvey Morning Show” today (8/8/07). Kevin G. Boyd was interviewed along with two other gentlemen who are his business associates/partners; one of them does the marketing and the other one is a 60 something year old who has been in the bottle water business for 20 plus years and is top in his filed with other major companies (he handles that aspect of the business). Based on the information discussed during the interview, the business is doing “exceptionally well” and was used during the Academy Awards and I believe he said the Oscar Awards this year and additionally is doing great outside the U.S. as well as in the U.S. among celebrities. He saw something that others missed; an opportunity to capitalize on a growing desire for a “specialty” product. He said the product was marketed 2/06 and based on the results so far, this is “only” the beginning. I believe we’ll be hearing and seeing a lot more about this product in the near future!
August 8th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
That seems fair. I shouldn’t get too harsh on this product. From my perspective, it seems goofy. However, if I had as much initiative as the founders, I would be making Bling H2O as well. I commend their drive and ability to find a niche market of water for celebrities. It’s genius. It’s a beautiful product, great imagery, great name. It’s just… it’s just there’s something about paying $60 for a bottle of water that sickens me. Have you ever seen a Gucci bag made? I have. They are meticulously crafted in these little shops scattered throughout Florence and its surrounds. They make the most beautiful bags and people get what they pay for. So, “luxury” to me means so much more than just making something expensive and putting a few crystals on the bottle. It means supporting the craft of artisans that have well honed skills. Luxury products are essentially “green” design because if something is really well made it will not break or it will be passed down. Let’s not get started on how un-green the bottled water industry is. It’s a fucking joke. Still, I love the idea of making hella cash off the backs of annoying celebrities. I’m conflicted.
August 21st, 2007 at 9:40 am
oh my god you are all a bunch of ass sucking jock riders!! it’s called BLING for fucks sake! living in LA makes me want to puke sometimes when i leave my house from the merry go round of contrived garbage.
Bling this, bling that. the vagina trilogy (lindsay, parasite and britanny) and all the OTHER contrived commercializes bullshit that gets thought up, fed and digested to the masses. it’s beyond pathetic.
do any of your bling h20 supporters realize that there is a WHOLE world outside of reading tabloid magazines and watching the E channel?!?!
this product is lame as shit, and uses the most cliched images and ideas imaginable.
August 22nd, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Dude! Rip it up! I would say it myself, but I’m trying to stay more neutral on the topic.
August 29th, 2007 at 7:45 am
For every virus, there is an anti-virus.
Check out: http://www.anotherbloodywater.com.au
August 31st, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I agree, this is pretty trumped-up, and definitely not artisan-made or anything like that. Has anyone seen the Evain Palace Bottles? They’re also mass-produced but somehow have more taste. Plus the water is from a well-known, established source.
August 31st, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Opps I meant Evian
August 31st, 2007 at 3:44 pm
I saw the Evian Palace Bottles on Ebay, they do have much more class than the bling, I like the embossed stainless steel parts. As for Bling, God I hate the naked ass and pearls in their ads!