Bling H2O: Design Crack at its Worst

Bling H2O: Design Crack at its Worst- Here's some marketing showing off a woman's ass

Bling H2O: Design Crack at its Worst- The bottles up close

I just happened to notice this on Yahoo today, and I could not help but to put it on the blog. I present Bling H2O– the next best thing to selling luxury air is luxury water. The water is the brainchild of Kevin G. Boyd who is a Hollywood writer and producer (I’ll get to this later) who saw an increasing star battle over who had the most luxury water. He created Bling H20 to be the “Rolls Royce Phantom” of waters, as he puts it, to help facilitate the petty water war. I do not see this water in the same league with the Rolls Royce Phantom but rather a cheesy, gold encrusted lowrider. It’s kind of like shining shit: you can work really hard to make the shit look pretty, but in the end it’s still shit.

Bling H20 is the lowrider of waters

I have to admit that I like the frosted bottle, the Swarovski crystal logo, and even the form of the bottle is appealing. However, the price is sad. It cost fifty-five dollars a bottle for the limited edition bottles. That seems conspicuously attainable to me. If people were wanting to buy luxury water Bling H20 should make the price hundreds of dollars and have real craftspeople make the water and bottle. Instead, what Bling H20 has created is a product that anyone can buy. Which means I can afford it just as easily as the gawky, pimple faced teenage girl in the mall. What’s the fun of that? It does not, actually, create a culture of exclusivity which is the point of this brand (according to their own literature). What the price tag of fifty-five dollars actually creates is a product that is expensive enough to make people say “wow” but cheap enough not to question the product’s provenance. But the provenance needs to be looked at. The frosted bottle- is it a special bottle or is it just the typical 50 cent frosted bottle you can pick up wholesale. Are the Swarovski crystals actual glass? Who are putting these crystals on the bottles- sweatshop workers or well paid artisans? What do we really know about the water? Everything just smacks of a person trying to deal crack in the form of water.

And while we’re questioning the origins of the product itself, let’s think about the origins of its creator, Kevin G. Boyd. His career, from my look at IMDB, has not been terribly successful. He has written for the Jaime Foxx Show ten years ago, but since then has done very little in his career which leads me to wonder how he knows so much about celebrity water tastes. I’m wondering if during his one episode stint as a writer of “One on One” back in 2004 this experience has given him the true insight?

Regardless of the snake-oil-like feeling I get about this product, I should commend Bling H20 for a creating pretty good buzz.

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